I spend a lot of my time now reminding myself "I AM THE ADULT. I AM THE ADULT...."

Sorry if anyone doesnt like this post, but i suggest that you read it slowly, and understand each sentence and think of how we can make a change in how we react to our children. We can contribute very negatively to the way they act out, by how they have seen us act out when we are aggitated or had a bad day.  If you feel you dont think its appropriate now, please keep this link, and on a "bad day" in the home with your kiddies, please think of this article and read it! 

Lets put our pride in our pockets, put the ego on the table for a few minutes and read. Educate ourselves, empower ourselves to create a better living environment for all. 

Regards, Crime Busters Admin

Above : Some wise words I'd say! Quite applicable!

This one initially wants to poke at my "get all prickly and offended" nerve. I've thought these things in the past, and I've heard them many times from parents ....

"My kids are mouthy (or rude or lazy or....) and I'm just trying to show them who is in charge. They need to know how out of line they are."

You see, it is incredibly easy, when you've been raised with shame, mockery or belittling as parenting strategies, to try to "get back" at kids for their behavior, words, or actions. Give me chance... 

But the truth is ... they rarely listen to just our words.  They see 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦, and they model our attitude, our actions and behaviors.  

And so ...  I spend a lot of my time now reminding myself  "I AM THE ADULT. I AM THE ADULT...." because my kids' behavior (or misbehavior) is always  about something deeper, and it is MY job to help them discern and navigate  this.  

This is no different for us as adults. 

We often have a good reason (or at the very least a well-crafted defence) for the times when WE behave badly.

When tempers flare and things get heated, we have to stay outside of their energy, their fearful, narrow and confrontational viewpoint, and move as quickly as posisble back into the adult role:   Assertive about boundaries and curious about what is 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 going on below the surface.

In this way, we can lead them to better understand the foundational issue, and help them develop the skills and meet the needs required to actually get at the root of the "misbehavior".

Our job as parents is never to get even, but to help our kids learn how to self-regulate and problem solve so that the "discipline" comes from within ❤

Please feel free to comment below. 

I hope this was helpful to someone who is ready to hear this. Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this one, you may read some more from Crime Busters Community Assistance Groups by going to our blog :   " crimebustersrsa.blogspot.com "

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